The Lunatic Wakes Up!

So I am back again.....after a self imposed break....i am back to this space....

Not many would have noticed...Not many would even notice....
Being back always feels good...but back in my mind..seems i have become more lunatic by the day....

LuNaTiC....???? is that wot i said....(Who prefers to read a post by a Lunatic after all...!!!)

Lets get clear on taht...moving along the subject.....

The dimensions of insanity are always virtuous! Is it tough to believe? Thought so…but what you will make out of it i.e., this piece which might appear very fancy but at its core, it will be hollow…and barren… (Hello..!!! Which it is not!)
But nevertheless, there is a chance of one getting impressed with abstract! The first sign of insanity?! Then please define me sanity!

Firstly, I won’t be convinced.
Secondly, even if you manage to make an almost negligible mark.

Then, Sorry, I don’t remember having such a useless thing like sanity, in the first place.

Hold on, hold on, Please don’t speak… it would spoil the illusion I have that makes you intelligent! After all, you all are perceived intelligent in the worldly view, whereas I am just trapped in the cage!
Because, the so called sane people say, I have been put into the right place!
But then, why am I blabbering.......???

Simple…look at me! I crave attention!
Indeed, I am insane…and indeed they are right!
They say, I go through the bouts of hallucination. Thinking about the things, which don’t exist?

But then, I can claim, I am creative, because, only people without imagination escape into reality!
“I just had a mischievous grin on my face.”

Another thought which striked me, If I start caring what people thought I’d never let go of my space…though, now that I am thinking to think about it, it’s a very nice option. Isn’t it?

Should I attempt caring? Let me give it a try from tomorrow!
I’m a freak in my own mind. Hehe....

That sentence is so catchy. If my doctor reads it, he will do two things- will enroll me at Oxford and publish this line in his own name.

You try an abnormal stuff...deviating a bit from the norms and lo!!...u r doomed...No one ever told me the exact reason, of why am I here!? They may say, I have lost my mental balance. I was becoming more of social menace!

I used to believe in the things, which people found unreasonable and impractical! Look, I can so clearly talk about the things which were said about me and still they say, I am insane! The fact is, I am talking all these after trying out pretty weird stuff! Am I still insane?

Oh, wait…two tear drops came out of my empty sockets! Let me rub my eyes! Oops, it’s looking so blurred…totally hazy…twinkling and dim! Giggles! :))..Yeah, that sign is good. It conveys my giggle very accurately....(though normal people wud say.....u have got COLD ..u freak!!!)

Some people also tell me that people no longer identify with my feelings, my thought process!
But, what befalls the flawless?
Why should I mould myself in other’s desired shape?
Isn’t it said that, wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are?

They, themselves did not believe it! I have a LIFE! You moron, it is in capital letter. Don’t you get it? LIFE. I did just one different thing, whenever life gave me lemons; I squeezed them in people’s eyes and ran.!(thiugh i make lemonade at times)

Was it a crime? In fact, they should have thanked me for showing them a wonderful use of lemons. But no, I am put behind this bird’s size cage. Filthy freaks!

They think, they are very smart(???)
All of them are negative. Sadist. Why don’t they understand, if they are going to be negative, they should keep it to themselves! Go, Wallow in your self pity in the freaking closet, where no one can see and no one will provide you a fake sympathy!

I cry, you also cry and that way, we both will achieve a sense of gratification. Oh, crap! My eyes and nose are running again...competing....! Where is my tissue paper!....BLOWWW...

yeah now am allrite..continue...type type type....

For me, hell’s a party and I’m on the list. The numero uno invitee. GRIN. :)). I am living my own life, for I will die my own death. By the way, why do people have to die? What purpose this inevitability serves? Oh, yes…To make life important. Tell me, how an officially declared insane person can come up with such answers! I guess, my higher education(??) paid it off.

I want to make people understand, I am insane because, otherwise I won’t survive in the outer world. This is not a matter of chance, but, rather choice.

It’s a long struggle to pick up the forgotten pieces of my existence. I don’t get the solitude in this asylum called world, when my mind used to feel like going to all those confusing roads! I miss those moments!

I tend to become homicidal when people try to reason with me!

I am going to sleep with my eyes open and a lovely heart but forever spoiled mood! They say, moods have no loyalty but still it should be heard! But they won’t! I know!

But Well in the end ...its just a page from a so called insane’s personal belongings, found dead and buried in this space!
----Vik$

12'O Clock Musings...!!!

Questions...questions...and more questions...!!! And they died Slowly!

Sometimes I feel like a 8 year old kid whose quite amused by the world around him.
Just that with time the questions have become more philosophical..or rather more weird...!!!

Let me start with the usual perception we have of the world we live in...
Are we living in a grey world? Does the conflict of black and white only exist in books, fairytales and movies? Do we really live in a world where everyone is grey?

But I wouldn't have it any other way.....

I like books and movies that reach conclusions... not necessarily happy endings... Things have a way of settling down.... however, entropy is always increasing.... chaos in the mind is ever inreasing.........

None of us are saints..... heck.... even the Gods have their eccentricities...the myths and stories are full of them..

That's why we have multidimensional personalities.... don't strive to sort yourself all the time... get with the chaos!!! Strive to be complex... strive to have it all... strive to do it all... strive to LIVE.......!! Strive to do the best... not necessarily be "good"!!

I hate the question, "Can you describe yourself in one word?".... What the hell does that mean? No Sir.. I can't describe myself in one word..... Complexities are what make us interesting... intriguing!!
Stagnating is for wimps!!!

Alright.... this is such a random trail of thoughts....... kind of apt for the point this post is trying to make!!

Ohh btw... I'm working on campus stuff ... So am gonna put a BIG Do NOt Disturb Tag n Doze off safely!

P.S: I am supposedly stuck in work....so hope to update this space as frequently as possible like before..till then take a short commercial break..Hast la Vista!!! :)

Life on Autopilot!

Hola Amigos!!
"I am Back"...as in the Terminator....Well...umm..not the exact way but yess....this time with a whole new Spanish accent(the pasta has rolled in)!!

Ok so, its usually customary that if you do not post anything for a while you outta' come back and offer an apology to all your readers who were waiting with bated breaths. But I dont have any such misconceptions, I know none of my blog readerswere waiting for my post....though I still hope some would remember this bloke!!:)

Before i start with the usual blah blah.....

DISCLAIMER: This may be a work of Fiction. Any resemblance to your life may be intentional but definitely isn't with any malice ... :)

I've always felt there are just two kinds of people in the world. Those who talk too much ... and those who aren't able to talk too much, as the first category (yappers) won't let them!

Seriously! ... I've come across many people who seem to be in love with the sound of their own voice ... and they'll ramble on and on ... and I feel like screaming -"Dude, if you love talking so much, at least say something interesting! ... or talk to someone who has similar interests!!! ... Don't persecute me just coz' I wandered into ur line of sight!"

Don't get me wrong here ... I love listening to people ... and given a choice between talking or listening, I'd rather listen(fingers crossed) ... But I'd rather give my time to friends and family and not to just about anyone ... But so many of these people just can't take a hint (or they choose to ignore the hints) ...

So I may yawn, program my cell-phone to self-destruct, tear my hair (I have lotsa them to run out) out in frustration, or just drop down unconscious ... they'll keep yapping away ... so long as I am physically present, anywhere near them ...At one point I thought I'd just ask the yappers to shut up and leave me alone ... but then I realized that I was actually benefitting from interaction with these fellas ...

1. If Patience is a muscle, I'm now a world-champion body-builder!

2. The ones who were spared of the torture coz' of me, treat with me with respect/pity/compassion ... and I don't mind it one bit! ... hehe :)

3. If I ever want to avoid someone, I quickly approach the first yapper in sight ... and he/she immediately strike up a not-so rivetting conversation ... and no one dares approach me!

4. I find that I can actually do quite a bit of work while 'listening' ... they don't really care if you are really paying attention ... they just want you to nod your head once in a while, mumble something like "yes" or "hmmm" or "I understand completely" ... So I've programmed myself such that every few minutes I nod and say one of those key-words ... they are happy and I'm none the worse for it ...

5. On account of the constant practice of nodding and saying "yes" without knowing what's happening, I think I'm perfecting the art that's practiced by all great husbands world-wide ... ;)

(No offence gals ... that's what most guys will end up doing anyways... always saying "Yes, Dear" )-------------------------------------------------

Till then..m on AutoPilot....Zoom! :)

Split Fast Musings!

I’m writing this in a quick moment stolen between other things I have to do, but I wanted to share two “deep” or at least provocative thoughts with you.

They’re not my thoughts; they are ones I heard from others. So here they are:

• Life is messy. If it’s not, you’re doing it wrong. (from a book.)

• If you’re doing everything perfect, and it’s going right, it’s not crab fishing. (paraphrased from “The Deadliest Catch” a show about Alaskan crab fishers, on the Discovery Channel publication i went thro in the library.”)

So why has the Universe decided to give me this message - twice - today? Where am I playing tidy? How am I valuing neatness over exploration, passion and discovery?

Questions to ponder ....things to come....way to go...alas!!!

---Vik$

Death Can Wait...Yes Sir!

Yes I am dreaming again....

Geez sir...offcourse...I don't know whether its in the realms of reality or in limits of my delusions of petrified thoughts.

Still I am dreaming.....Yes sir...I am consciously looking at a film that is frame by frame breezing past my sleepy eyeballs...even though the lids are closed....and then i feel it...the treacherous wind howl at me and make me shrink with fear.
I try to stand,hope all sapped; I go numb as the icy raindrops do nothing else but sneer.

I moan and moan but the demons within do not relinquish their hold.The crisp lightening strucks the sky; a moment I was a shadow, another moment a piece of gold.

A chaos erupted, for there is no greater sin than defeating thy own purpose
and then in horror, I realised that all over again I had died . . .

The dark skies echoed my feeling, or was it the void that I emoted when I sighed
The bitter aftertaste of self-deceit told me that once again I had died . . .

A crippled body could do no harm but an unbearable agony of a crippled soul had me tied...

I realised that a lifeless existence was not my way, it was better that I had died . . .The remorse of being Dead....

A sadistic pleasure acquired in the ultimate moments of truth....

I wish I had died long back.....for living without a purpose is like rolling along with your veins filled with wicked serum!!!

They say....u live so long.... “As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”

And I know I am not yet satisfied........

"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."
---Emily Dickinson