Death Can Wait...Yes Sir!

Yes I am dreaming again....

Geez sir...offcourse...I don't know whether its in the realms of reality or in limits of my delusions of petrified thoughts.

Still I am dreaming.....Yes sir...I am consciously looking at a film that is frame by frame breezing past my sleepy eyeballs...even though the lids are closed....and then i feel it...the treacherous wind howl at me and make me shrink with fear.
I try to stand,hope all sapped; I go numb as the icy raindrops do nothing else but sneer.

I moan and moan but the demons within do not relinquish their hold.The crisp lightening strucks the sky; a moment I was a shadow, another moment a piece of gold.

A chaos erupted, for there is no greater sin than defeating thy own purpose
and then in horror, I realised that all over again I had died . . .

The dark skies echoed my feeling, or was it the void that I emoted when I sighed
The bitter aftertaste of self-deceit told me that once again I had died . . .

A crippled body could do no harm but an unbearable agony of a crippled soul had me tied...

I realised that a lifeless existence was not my way, it was better that I had died . . .The remorse of being Dead....

A sadistic pleasure acquired in the ultimate moments of truth....

I wish I had died long back.....for living without a purpose is like rolling along with your veins filled with wicked serum!!!

They say....u live so long.... “As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.”

And I know I am not yet satisfied........

"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."
---Emily Dickinson